Degen Syndicate: Strategic Asset Guardians

Precision Engraving Meets Strategic Persuasion

20% of all Star Atlas engraving sales flow directly into our syndicate’s treasury wallet
Enlist Here (No résumé required. Mild space madness preferred.)

Enlist Before We Audit Your Browser History

What Our Members Say:

“Your assets are safer with us… statistically speaking (disclaimer: stats unverified).”-Clamos .lrnr

“MUD calls it extortion. We call it ‘dynamic resource redistribution.’ They still pay.” – Shoaam .idtt

“Section 8.4 of the Galactic Code is our favorite bedtime story. Spoiler: The good guys lose.”– Barry


Q

What We Actually Do

  • Convoy Escorts
    “That’s a nice shipment of Exotic Plasma… would be a shame if something… happened to it.”
    • Fee: 15% of cargo value
    • Bonus: We’ll name your ship’s new laser scar something cool
  • Strategic Asset Recovery
    “You lose it, we ‘find’ it (40% finder’s fee applies).”
    • Specializing in “recovering” assets from:
      • Overconfident pirates
      • Former allies
      • That one guy who owes the guild 200 $ATLAS
  • Zone Pacification
    We keep high-yield sectors… quiet.

Q

Membership Perks

For Adults with Adult Problems

  • Flexible Hours
    9-to-5 job? Kids? We attack during halftime.
  • Asset Pooling
    Your mining barge + our ex-mercenary’s cruiser = problem-solving arithmetic.

Q

What’s our policy on “borrowed” ships?

If it’s unattended in a medium-risk zone for >5 mins, it’s legally misplaced. 

“We’re not heroes. We’re the reason heroes need insurance.”

The Degen DAC began in 2021 when a Twitch community stumbled onto Star Atlas during its infancy. After “Doc” grilled the CEO live, the crew launched an NFT drop to fund their future fleet.Now they wait, armed with ships and a grudge against patience.

Q

Can I quit?

Yes, but we’ll keep 20% of your fond memories.

Q

Join Protocol (3-Step Ethics Waiver)

  • Connect Wallet
    Phantom, Solflare, or that wallet you haven’t touched since the last bull run.
  • Submit Request
    No interviews. We assume you’re ethically flexible.
  • Pass Vibe Check
    • Basic requirement: Knows $ATLAS isn’t a constellation
    • Bonus: Willing to say “It’s just a game” with zero conviction
      Pass Vibe Check
      Actual requirements:
    • Pick Your Role
      • 🧭 “Diplomat” (Shoots first)
      • 💼 “Logistics Coordinator” (Loots first)
      • 🤖 “Ethics Committee” (Gets shot first)
  • Profit
    60% of the time, it works every time.

Final Boss Disclaimer:

“The Degen Syndicate does not endorse, condone, or remember any alleged ‘war crimes’ committed during UTC business hours. All salvage rights subject to gravitational pull and whether our lawyer bot is powered on.” – USTUR Ai legal council

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